When Your Mind Won’t Switch Off: Stress, Relaxation and Sleep
Sometimes you’re exhausted, but your brain didn’t get the memo.
You’ve had a long day. You’re tired. You get into bed, ready for sleep…
And suddenly your brain decides this is the perfect time to review everything you’ve ever done, remember something you forgot to do, and start planning tomorrow. Sound familiar?
Stress and sleep are closely connected. When life feels busy and your mind stays switched on, winding down can become difficult. And when you don’t sleep well, the next day can feel harder too.
It can become a bit of a cycle.
Stress isn’t always obvious
We often think of stress as feeling overwhelmed or anxious, but it can show up in lots of ways. You might notice:
- difficulty switching off
- feeling restless or wired
- muscle tension
- irritability
- racing thoughts
- difficulty concentrating
- feeling tired but unable to relax
- waking during the night
Sometimes your body is telling you that you’ve been running on ‘go’ for a little too long.
Your body needs a chance to come out of doing mode
We spend a huge amount of our day doing.
Working… Planning… Driving… Looking after people… Exercising… Cooking… Cleaning… Scrolling.
Even our downtime can involve doing something.
Relaxation is different, it’s giving yourself permission to stop achieving anything for a little while.
This is one of the reasons I love meditation and embodied practices. They give you an opportunity to shift your attention away from the endless list in your head and back towards what’s happening in your body.
- Notice your breathing.
- Feel your body supported by the chair or floor.
- Notice the sounds around you.
- Let your shoulders soften.
- You don’t have to make anything happen.
Small changes can make a difference
You don’t need to completely overhaul your life to create more space for rest. You could try:
Create a transition between your day and your evening.
Give yourself a few minutes to change gears rather than going straight from work mode into bedtime.
Move your body.
A walk, some gentle movement or a Pilates session can be a useful way to step away from the mental side of your day.
Give your brain somewhere else to focus.
Try a few minutes of breathing, meditation or body awareness rather than continuing to mentally rehearse tomorrow.
Create a wind-down routine.
Doing similar relaxing things before bed can help signal that the day is coming to an end.
Notice what your body is telling you.
Are you tired? Tense? Restless? Overstimulated? Sometimes simply noticing is the first step.
And don’t turn sleep into another thing to worry about
There’s a funny trap we can fall into… You have trouble sleeping, so you start worrying about not sleeping… Then you worry about how tired you’ll be tomorrow… Then you look at the clock… Then you calculate how many hours you have left.
And suddenly sleep has become a performance!
Sleep isn’t something you can force. Instead, focus on creating the conditions for rest and allowing your body the opportunity to settle.
And if you’re regularly struggling with sleep or it’s significantly affecting your day, it’s worth talking with your doctor. There can be many reasons for ongoing sleep difficulties, and sometimes you need more than a relaxation technique.
Sometimes you just need to stop
Not forever.
Not for a week.
Just for a few minutes.
Put down the phone… Take a breath… Feel your feet on the floor… Notice what’s around you.
Come out of your head and back into your body.
